How To STOP OVERTHINKING Your Crush

Some situations require reinforcement (like the 10 suggestions I'm sharing below) to really clear your mind and think about literally anything else besides what's consuming your headspace due to a case of obsessive thinking. This is true whether it's a conversation you can't get off your mind or a dating scenario like today's reader submission.

“How can I stop my mind from obsessively overthinking about whether my crush is going to text/call me back?"

We become trapped in a cycle of inaction and transform constructive contemplation into crippling anxiety when we overthink things. It moves us downward and backward in addition to not moving us forward.

This is a common topic in dating, in my experience. When I work with my clients, I frequently hear them worry and overthink things like if they like you, whether they will call or text you back, and whether they said too much or too little.

In order to raise awareness and give my clients and you the resources you need to quit worrying and overthinking, I like to employ DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) strategies. These are my ten best suggestions.

1. EXAMINE THE LARGER IMAGE

How will you be affected in five or ten years by all the problems that are circling around in your head? Instead of making a pie from scratch for the potluck, will anyone really notice if you purchased a fruit plate? Avoid allowing small problems to grow into big obstacles.

2. DO NOT FORGET THE 90-10 RULE.

Based on a 90% self-worth and 10% assigned worth, this formula, or ratio, tells you how much you should value yourself. Just 10% should come from that sporadic bit of outside validation that we all require, with the remaining 90% coming from your own self-acceptance and self-appreciation.

The formula is distorted by overthinkers, who even reverse it by acting as though 90% of their value is derived from the opinions of others.

3. PRESENT A GOOD INTENT.

People who overthink things tend to overestimate things. Why? They are presuming that there is something negative below, such as a negative impression, someone's poor intentions, or an adverse result. When you see yourself doing this, change your perspective to assume that what you're reading into was neutral or well-intentioned. It truly is most of the time, so why not pretend that it is?

4. CHANGE "WHAT IF?" WITH "WE'LL SEE"

The question "what if?" keeps coming up for overthinkers. which is a question that cannot be answered. If you ever find yourself wondering, "what if?" Change it right away to "we'll see," which is a strategy for overcoming analytical paralysis and embracing change.

5. GO OUT AND HAVE FUN.

I'm trying to tell you to quit wasting so much time thinking. To find delight in what's happening around you, step outdoors and change your perspective.

6. CONSIDER YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS

Pull out your notepad or your preferred note-taking app on your phone when you find yourself overanalysing anything. List five positive events from the previous week, along with your part in them.

These don't have to be significant achievements. You may be shocked to see how these seemingly insignificant details pile up when you view it on paper or on screen.

7. PUT SELF-COMPASSION INTO PRACTISE

Reminiscing about past errors prevents you from moving ahead. Try shifting your attention back to self-compassion if you're criticising yourself for something you did last week.

8. ACQUIRE THE ABILITY TO LET GO

You will never be able to control everything. Reducing overthinking can be greatly aided by learning to accept this.

9. STOP BELIEVING EVERYTHING

Don't trust the falsehoods that your own thoughts tell you. It may sound like a straightforward statement, but for those who overthink things or are chronic worriers, it can be challenging to live by.

10. CHANGE THE IDEA LOOP

Replace the ruminating with an optimistic perspective rather than dwelling on a problem, either past or future. Concentrate on the result ending well. Consider others who have the best of intentions.